Move On

i tried again, to move the rock,
that life had placed ahead;
thrust aside, i was mocked,
reduced to win just bread;

fame, no glory, loft nay,
i looked for a purpose;
pushed down, cast away,
dreams became a yonder buzz;

i got up, i dust myself again
prepared to fight for new dawn;
even if cometh all bane,
i will not falter to move on....

Life, work, search of purpose...

Another day went by at my workplace, with my doing nothing. Now this word ‘nothing’ is relative. According to my job role I fix issues for my client. To me, however, I do nothing.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a Computer Science and Engineering graduate. My job is something that some 10,00,000 strong engineering graduates all over India do right out of their college. The problem is we as Indians have proven our might as cheap and effective technology labour (with our national leaders focusing on making more “workforce” for the world). It is overall good for the country. It is one of the biggest source of revenue for our country, our biggest export after crude material. It provides for jobs and livelihood to so many. And ofcourse it doesn’t let our professional education go waste. So, it is great. Period.

Or is it?

With a country like ours which is essentially 5 or 6 thousands of years old in its heritage and culture, but, roughly only 70 years of being independent and self-governed, we are behind time. Seriously.
Our country is credited to have given the world the decimal number system’s greatest asset, the zero and also introducing surgery (sorry I don’t have any official source for either, it is mostly “let-me-tell-you-a-story”), but, then we bailed out. Our country is not credited with any revolutionary invention or innovation (save the Radio Communication, which Marcony got credit for instead of J. C. Bose). We have not yet been able to produce a product that has changed the world.

Yes, product.

Much of the country’s budget depends on maintaining a balance between imports and exports and a country actually becomes developed if it has successfully surpassed the exports over the imports. We have unfortunately become a country of consumers. Our imports far exceed our exports and we barely export any engineered product (only exception being petro-products like engine oils etc.).

Let me focus on my sector. As if it was mine.

Our country as I have mentioned earlier, has made a name for its IT expertise, and yet we do not have a single software company that releases any major software product. One might argue that tally is an exception, but, then tally is not something you would gift your child on next deepawali.
So, what is it? Are we not competitive enough? Are we not able?

To answer these questions, one has to go back to beginning. Literally; read the first line of this post.
Most of us may actually be quite energetic and dreamy, looking for lofty purposes in life, but the purposelessness imposed on us in the form of the job (we actually are rubbing our posterior anatomy off, for the sake of building another country) makes us non-believers. We lose our faith that something grand can actually be achieved. Those of whom that are not tainted, either find their way out of the country or become non-technical money earners (to not offend that community of high level corporate bureaucracy, I am not naming them!). This results in loss of knowledge and ability to achieve feats of technology. We turn into bozos. May be someone will break out of the mold. May be someone will show us the way. We are but cattle. Ready to be herded. Period.

School Life: Days at School...

I was born, with an ambition to make a name,
and my parents wanted me to do the same;

I was admitted to a school, where, I have till now spent a part of life,
Those days and their memories, I will try to describe;

The first day when I reached the school, I wept,
It was because of the feeling of loneliness, in me that had crept;

All these years, some or the other led me the way,
My teachers, I must say;

I have had many friends all through,
But, the days have passed as if they flew;

Once, I had had a tiff, a bitter one and tensions got dense,
I said sorry to him and we are friends ever since;

I made many mistakes and am still learning from them,
The experience I have attained could be weighed by the most precious gems;

I have never been a good player I don't think I am game,
But, then, I was born with an ambition to make a name...

- Bane Havoc            

Life and Death

The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.  ~Mark Twain

We often believe that we are born in a world full of opportunities, new heights to scale, new places to conquer. We are thrown in our own happy world and are happy in it. What we are generally not aware is that we are wearing away our time. Have you watched the movie "In Time" ? Yes, we all have a stopwatch on our lives. It ticks. Backwards. Our time on earth is counted. We do not live forever. None of us.

We live in illusions and think of "living life king size". How naive are our thoughts. How hollow our purpose; or must I say lack of purpose? We live simply for the sake of living. We live each day with the sole purpose that our next day be better.

There is a quotation:

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.  ~Maurice Maeterlinck

Yes I believe that life is a stake one has to put up with to earn a peaceful death. Maurice's saying is rather contradictory one might say. He says knowledge leads to a painful death. Maybe true. However I cannot vouch for that. It depends upon what you did with your life and your knowledge. You are supposed to use your knowledge to earn a peaceful death. If all you did in your life was to run after money, riches, lust and other material luxuries and novelties then perhaps you will die an unhappy death. Or, when, you craved for each one of these and found none maybe then you will not find peace.

I recently lost someone who was directly linked to my earliest childhood memories. I was an infant and he was one of my playmates. A child usually remembers all love and affection showered on him or her. So do I. He supposedly suffered of Alzheimer's disease. He barely recognized his own kith and kin when he neared his death. Maybe he did not feel as much pain as by them who survive him. I pray to the almighty that so be the case. 

May his soul rest in peace and his memories be immortal.

Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever.  ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

All quotations from :  http://www.quotegarden.com/death.html